What a Booger in My Beard Taught Me About Acceptance

What am I, five?!

The concept of acceptance has been really difficult for me to grasp. The way I grew up, the word acceptance has connotations of approval, giving in, and giving up.

The more I have looked into it, the more I’ve heard that acceptance is the first step to meaningful and lasting change.

One question kept coming up in my head. How and why would you change something that you have accepted? It didn’t make any sense to me until…

On a particularly bad day for my allergies, I went to blow my nose in my bathroom. I grabbed some toilet paper, blew, wiped, and threw it in the trash. On my way out, I glanced in the mirror and noticed something in the hair on my upper lip. I took a closer look and discovered a big 'ol booger right there under my nose.

A lightning-fast, cascading progression of thoughts and emotions flooded my head and body.

Surprise, denial, embarrassment, frustration. How did that happen? No. I didn’t just mess up blowing my nose. What am I, five?! How could I mess up something I learned decades ago?! This is so embarrassing! I suck. I can’t even wipe my nose right.

Then, after a moment of internal chaos, came clarity. The emotions and thoughts were still there, but I felt like I was snapped out of a daydream and they faded into the background. I realized something. I could sit here all day denying what happened, judging myself, and feeling embarrassed, but that didn’t change reality. In fact, all of these things prevented me from changing my situation.

Accepting that beard-booger didn’t mean that I approved of it. It didn’t mean I was going to resign myself to the situation and walk around with a messy face all day. It didn’t mean that I was giving up my desire and power to change my situation. It only meant that I had to accept it as reality.

Step one to getting my face clean was to see my situation as it was and accept it as reality. Only then was I able to make a change, wipe off my face and move on with my day.